my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
