People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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