we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
