ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
