problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
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I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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