you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
