she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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