I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
