Pass out mid-funnel last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
