would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
