Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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