I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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