Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So many bounce houses so little time
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
