Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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