Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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