he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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