we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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