is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize