I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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