Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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