this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
