so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
