hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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