Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
