I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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