my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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