Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize