North Korea, Best Korea!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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