If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
