It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
