I'm so fucking centered right now
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize