so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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