How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
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My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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