I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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