we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm bleeding and have questions
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize