so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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