doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
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theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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