I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
