Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
