Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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