I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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