do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
