Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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