it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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