You work out of a Hotel?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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