i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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