singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
