I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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