I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
