Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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