She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
