I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
