why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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