Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
