she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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