Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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