I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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